My lingering fear was realized when I received the definitive news that my job was being taken away from me due to company layoffs.
You need to understand that for me, my job was more then just a job, it was a sense of identify as well as pride. It defined my daily routine, as well as to a degree contributed to my social contacts. I really liked this job.
Suddenly all was pulled away with a simple WebEx call, follow up by an email containing an attachment that I had to sign.
A week later a courier arrived and took my badge and laptop. I was out.
In the 24 hours that followed after being laid off, I experienced the classic five stages of grief — denial, depression, anger, bargaining, and acceptance.
Denial: “No, they can’t do that.”
Even though I knew it was coming, when the ax dropped, I felt myself sink into a disorienting mental abyss. Even though I could faintly hear my boss explaining his reasoning for the lay off (team restructuring… bad financial times…) and imparting the important information a departing employee needs to know (severance package… employment insurance… recommendations…) I did not say much because to say something was to admit that this was really happening.
This cannot be. - This is not the way my story was supposed to go.
I moved from being a trusted team member to being an outsider in a matter of seconds. All work emails, meetings and phone calls simply stopped. I was off of the team that I had helped build.
Depression: “How could they do that?”
Once the initial shock wore off, my mind went into overdrive. I began running through everything I would miss about working for the company—the learnings, the challenges, the milestones, the daily discussions, the coffee machine, the gym, the downtown view, and most of all, the people.
I always understood that ‘work friends’ were different then ‘life friends’ but still, while at the company I shared many good times with my colleagues. Now that I was out, the bond that ensured we saw each other everyday and shared a common destiny was broken.
At this low point, insecurity and self-criticism set in. I felt like a dispensable being that lacks qualities of value, because then I wouldn’t be in this position, now would I? - Others were still on the team, it was I who was off.
When it comes to letting employees go, managers stress that it’s nothing personal, it’s just business. But no matter how it is spun, being no longer needed feels very personal.
Anger: “How dare they do that!”
I understand and appreciate that administering layoffs commonly occur in the workplace. A quick termination process can be merciful during this delicate situation for both the departing employee and the bearer of the bad news. However, after years of establishing a solid relationship founded on respect and trust, this felt like a huge, burning slap in the face. Even though I know the employer’s intention was not meant to be malicious towards the employee, it sure felt that way.
I hated not being able to tie up loose ends from unfinished projects. I hated feeling as if my contributions were deemed inconsequential in the end. I hated not saying my proper goodbyes to my colleagues, customers and partners. I hated not having closure - "Why Me - what could I have done to avoid this "?
Bargaining: “Maybe they wouldn’t have done that if I had only…”
If anything, the most important lesson I learned is to never, ever settle. Looking back now, I was coming close to becoming too entrenched in my work and losing sight of further growth opportunities.
Loyalty is a key quality in a good employee, but when that starts to become your top motivation for being in your job, you need to start looking for avenues of advancement ahead of you. If you’re not growing, you’re limiting what you can achieve and what you can provide.
In the end its not the job that defines you – far from it.
Acceptance: “Okay. They did that.”
It happened. It’s done. I wish the conclusion was written out differently, but the chapters in-between my beginning and the end have been incredible, and I owe great thanks to my employers, my team, and everyone I have met along the way.
Reflecting on the last years, I wouldn’t change a thing. I have gained a heightened confidence, a can-do attitude, an unwavering determination, and a vast flexibility that I have never possessed before.
In the hours following my termination, I went into a dark state of mind and knew I couldn’t, I shouldn’t be alone.
I reached out to friends and family who had experienced the distress of losing a job. I got to vent and release my emotions, and in return, they gave me the encouragement and advice I needed to steer me back on track. For that, I cannot thank them enough.
I am choosing to include the experience of being laid off in my career narrative. Job termination is too often seen as a taboo topic of discussion, although it is an experience shared by so many people in the working world.
A new chapter begins!
Now it’s time to go for interviews and sell my experience to new people. It is both exciting and scary.
I know I need to move forward as a strong operator with a defined set of skills and knowledge that others will want.
Everyone loves a good comeback story. - If you need to talk after job loss - contact us we know what its like and are here to help.